Made of Honor

Made of Honor (Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan) — HEADLINES: McDreamy Does McStinker; Dempsey Does Dumpster; “Made” Makes Miserable Movie.  I could go on and on.  This is the worst, most infantile film in years.  It’s so predictable, so full of cliches, so full of not-so-merry mix-ups, and such a waste of talent that it should have moved right to video and been placed in the sale rack.  So just in case you want to see it (you must be kidding me!), the story involves two beautiful people who have been best friends for 10 years.  But it’s purely platonic (never heard this premise before, have you?).  He is a rich playboy who sleeps around and maintains a series of rules about his relationships that makes it clear that he has no intention of having a serious relationship.  She is a sweetheart who works at the museum restoring paintings but apparently has no serious relationships until she gets sent to Scotland and instantly falls in love, gets engaged, and decides to get married two weeks later (spare me!).  She wants him to be her maid of honor (apparently, she has missed the fact that he’s a hunk).  He is played by hunk Patrick Dempsey of Grey’s Anatomy; she is played by Iowa’s own Michelle Monaghan (Mission Impossible III, Gone Baby Gone, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang).  His father is played by Oscar-nominated Sydney Pollack (director of Tootsie, who must have sunk deep in his chair at the premiere).  Her mother is played by Oscar-nominated Kathleen Quinlan (Apollo 13).  My God, what a waste of talent!  So you decide: Does the girl marry the Scottish duke?  Does the maid of honor do his duty or try to scuttle the wedding?  Does the not-so-couple realize that they were maid (or is that “made”) for each other?  If I told you everyone dies at the end, then that might make a trip to the theater worthwhile.  But alas, they don’t.  And that means that this is a total waste of time.